7 Rahasia Untuk Membuat Hubungan Anda Awet Selamanya

Bahan materi artikel ini berdasarkan buku electronic yang ditulis oleh Alexandra Fox yang berjudul : 77 Secrets of Love In mid-2010, Dunia dikejutkan dengan berita dari wakil president dan aktivis lingkungan hidup Al Gore dan istrinya Tipper mengumumkan bahwa, setelah 40 tahun pernikahan, mereka akhirnya memutuskan bercerai.

Baru-baru ini, ada cerita dari tabloid baru yang muncul tentang hubungan special Al Gore dengan therapist pijat pribadinya, yang akhirnya meminta uang sebesar  1 juta dollar untuk membuatnya tutup mulut tentang hubungan gelap mereka. Well, ladies, here’s another way to become a millionaire :)

Today, dalam menanggapi berita ini, saya ingin berbicara tentang bagaimana cara membuat hubungan asmara awet selamanya. You know, kita menghabiskan so much waktu untuk membuat pria jatuh cinta kepada kita. 

Tapi apa gunanya kalau kita tidak bias membuat suatu hubungan itu berlangsung lama. It’s just as important, if not more important, to nurture your relationship, once it gets off the ground. Sekarang, let’s talk about 7 Rahasia Untuk membuat hubungan anda awet selamanya…

Rahasia #1 -  Jangan hanya bergantung pada ketertarikan FISIK

Saya menempatkan rahasia ini pada posisi pertama karena ini memang satu hal yang menjadi basic dalam suatu hubungan, bahkan hubungan pertemanan. Hal ini sudah pasti akan menentukan bagaimana suatu hubungan itu akan berlangsung. Namun masih saja banyak dari kita yang membuat kesalahan dengan memilih teman pria hanya dari penampilan luarnya saja. Saya tahu karena saya dulu juga melakukan hal yang sama :D. Sangat mudah sekali jatuh cinta dengan pria yang kita anggap tampan, dan banyak dari kita membuat kesalahan dengan meyakinkan diri sendiri kalau hubungan ini akan TERJADI dan dapat berlangsung lama. And it's amazing bagaimana perjuangan kita sebagai perempuan untuk membuat para pria jatuh hati kepada kita.  but with little or no success. It goes both ways, too, banyak dari kita menghabiskan banyak waktu mencoba untuk terlihat cantik di hadapan pria yang kita temui. And to an extent, it works –make up yang cantik, penampilan yang sensual, the right hair do can equate to more pria meminta nomer anda.

Anda masih ingat idola kita waktu tahun 90an Britney Spears? Ketika dia pertama kali terkenal , dia adalah pujaan seluruh pria di dunia. Everybody LOVED her. Jangan hanya mengandalkan penampilan fisik. It's enough to get things started, tapi tidak cukup untuk membuat pria menikahinya!

Rahasia #2 – Lihat kemana Emotional/Intellectual Chemistry menuntun anda

Sekarang perhatikan kemana type pendekatan ini menuntun anda dan perlu anda pelajari. This is the type of attraction that goes beyond physical. It can be one of two things --intellectual or emotional.

Intellectual attraction is ketika anda merasa bahwa anda tertarik pada cara befikir pria. It often goes like this, anda sudah kenal dengan seorang pria beberapa lama, tapi anda tidak pernah merasakan adanya ketertarikan pada penampilanya yang biasa – biasa saja, postur tubuhnya biasa saja, dan bahkan kariernya yang biasa saja.

Tapi sekali anda sat down with him one-on-one, dan discovered how INTERESTING and WONDERFUL he really is in person --you immediately feel a deep attraction for him.

That's intellectual attraction at work –dan ini adalah satu dari dua kunci untuk membuat hubungan anda awet selamanya!

Kunci kedua adalah EMOTIONAL attraction. Penjelasan yang ini sangat simple, emotional attraction adalah JATUH CINTA yang bahasa kerennya FALLING IN LOVE :D. Bukan Cuma kita yang dewasa aja lho yang bisa rasakan jatuh cinta, zaman sekarang mah udah banyak anak SD yang katanya juga udah pernah ngerasain jatuh cinta he he…

Sure, anda bisa saja jatuh cinta dengan pria dengan hanya melihat penampilan luarnya saja, tapi sekali lagi saya katakana bahwa itu cuma obsesi. And I can guaranty you that's just EXTERNAL. Dan ketika anda jatuh cinta hanya dari penampilannya saja itu adalah bukan benar – benar “CINTA”, itu Cuma sesaat, dan biasanya tidak pernah berlangsung lama, if that’s all there is.

Berikut adalah hal lain yang harus anda ingat dalam memori anda,  anda tidak memutuskan untuk jatuh cinta, anda tidak memilih kapan anda akan jatuh cinta. Ini akan berlangsung begitu saja tanpa anda tahu kapan itu dimulai dan ketika itu terjadi, you just KNOW it. Itu seperti ada sesuatu di otak anda dan tidak ada yang dapat merenggutnya dari anda.

Kalau anda tertarik secara emotionally and intellectually terhadap seorang pria dan si dia juga merasakan hal yang sama seperti anda, then congratulations! Anda dapat memulai langkah baru untuk membuat hubungan yang dapat bertahan dalam ujian dan waktu!

Rahasia #3- Understand Him

Ketika ada perceraian dan perpisahan, saya dapat mengidentifikasi 5 penyebab utama. Dan saya akan jelaskan satu persatu dalam rahasia ke 3 sampai ke 7.

Yang pertama adalah KESALAHPAHAMAN.

Banyak yang bilang kalau perempuan itu dari mars dan pria itu dari venus. Ada benernya kan? Ada beberapa hal yang dilakukan pria yang membuat kita susah untuk mengerti.

Itu yang membuat beberapa perempuan jengkel terhadap prianya, dan yang terjadi kemudian adalah kita angkat tangan dan kemudian berkata “aku menyerah”, hmmm… Kawan, anda tidak boleh dengan mudahnya berkata menyerah dan berharap bahwa hubungan akan berlangsung dengan mulus.

Ketika anda berhenti untuk mencoba mengerti bagaimana cara berfikir pria, itu berarti anda telah membuka hubungan dalam masalah, argument dan kesalahpahaman.

Here's a common misconception –bahwa ketika dia diam, para perempuan pasti beranggapan bahwa sesuatu pasti ada yang salah.

Diam saya yakin banyak dari kita sering lakukan khususnya ketika pasangan melakukan sesuatu yang tidak kita suka. (maksud saya adalah kita mendiamkan pasangan kita ketika kita ada masalah yang kalau menurut saya itu tidak adil). Tapi ini adalah kesalahpahaman besar. Anda harus ingat bahwa sementara kita melakukan aksi diam kita untuk menunjukan ketidaksukaan kita terhadap apa yang telah dia lakukan, dia juga diam tapi yang perlu anda ketahui mereka diam untuk alasan lain.

Ketika pria diam,bisa saja dia diam karena berfikir tentang pekerjaan, bagaimana cara membayar bill bulanan, dan bisa saja dia berfikir tentang masa depannya, mungkin masa depannya dengan anda!

Apapun itu, dia tidak marah dengan anda, jadi jangan bersikap defensive dan balas diam juga kepadanya! Tar bisa –bisa kita nyesel lhoo…

Kawan, anda tidak bisa "figure him out" hanya dalam beberapa bulan ataupun tahun, Anda harus terus “figure him out” selama puluhan tahun atau selama anda ingin hubungan anda bertahan!

Rahasia #4 -KOMUNIKASI

Dalam rahasia yang ke 3, saya menekankan pentingnya mengetahui bagaimana cara fikir pria. Di rahasia ke 4 ini, saya akan melangkah lebih jauh dan menekankan pentingnya sebuah KOMUNIKASI. Sesuai dengan bagaimana cara fikir pria. Saya tidak bisa menekan cukup tetapi sebenarnya komunikasi adalah sangat penting dalam sebuah hubungan. Banyak sekali hubungan yang berantakan karena mereka menyepelekan sebuah komunikasi.

Ada dua hal tentang komunikasi yang harus anda ketahui :

(1) Waktu. Sangat penting untuk menyisihkan waktu semisal dua kali atau satu kali seminggu untuk sekedar jalan- jalan dan berbicara satu sama lain tentang apapun. Ini sama seperti "lubricant" untuk suatu hubungan dan ini akan membuat hubungan anda berjalan dengan mulus.

(2) Memahami. Anda perlu tahu bagaimana pria berfikir dulu sebelum anda berharap untuk mengerti dia. 

Dan semakin anda tahu bagaimana dia berfikir, anda akan memahami bagaimana dia bertindak. (Dan semakin anda memahami bagaimana dia bertindak, akan semakin sedikit anda berargument dan semakin jarang ada salahpahaman di dalam hubungan anda!). Sanga penting sekali untuk memahami bagaimana dia berfikir tentang sesuatu. Semakin anda memahami dia, semakin anda dapat berkomunikasi dengan dia di level ini dan lebih sedikit pula masalah yang akan anda hadapi dalam kelangsungan hubungan anda!

Rahasia #5 -“Memberi”

Oh, ini dia masalah yang katanya cukup menggangu too many relationship...

Banyak orang yang get into marriages half-heartedly, thinking that relationships are centered around compromise. We tend to think that to make a relationship work, we'll have to find a middle ground and stick to that for the rest of our lives. Sorry, Saya punya pandangan yang berbeda tentang bagaimana membuat hubungan dengan pasangan berlangsung selamanya.

Saya pribadi tidak percaya dengan konsep "finding and sticking”  to a middle ground." Yang katanya konsep ini berdasar pada konsep "give and take," dimana anda dan pacar anda atau suami anda harus mengorbankan sesuatu untuk mendapatkan sesuatu di dalam suatu hubungan itu sendiri.

Dan sayangnya, itu yang menyebabkan banyak perceraian dimulai. Salah satu atau kedua belah pihak mulai lelah berkorban terlalu banyak dan menganggap pasanganya kurang berkorban untuknya. Lalu semakin sering argument terjadi dan lama kelamaan tidak ada lagi yang mau untuk berkompromi dan setelah itu terjadi, hubungan menjadi hambar.

Saran saya begini, Jangan pernah melakukan suatu hubungan setengah hati. Berfikirlah melakukan suatu hubungan itu adalah suatu investasi jangka panjang, dan tidak menganggapnya sebagai suatu permainan judi. And be ready to "give and give" instead of "give and take."

Ingat, Suatu hubungan kasih adalah bukan seperti transaksi bisnis. Kedua belah pihak harus menikmati ketika memberi dan membuat pasangannya bahagia. “Memberi ” harus menjadi suatu keindahan ketika anda memberikannya pada orang yang anda kasihi. Jangan pernah menghitung berapa banyak yang anda berikan pada pasangan maupun seberapa sedikit yang anda atau pasangan anda berikan. Don’t fall into that trap…

Rahasia #6 - Look At the Big Picture

Berikut ini adalah cara baik untuk melihat apakah seorang pria siap untuk menjalani hubungan yang serius.

Pertama Tanya tentang rencana masa depannya. Saya telah mempelajari cukup lama untuk mengetahui apa yang pria fikirkan tentang masa depan sebuah hubungan dan membuat rencana dalam mendapatkan goals untuk dirinya sendiri. Kebanyakan pria diluar sana berfikir “hidup untuk hari ini saja” mereka tidak percaya akan cara dalam menunda kepuasan diri, kebanyakan pria menerapkan konsep nikmati hari ini dan berfikir kemudian.

Sebenarnya tidak terlalu ada hubungannya dengan cinta dan hubungan asmara. Tapi, seperti kebanyakan dalam suatu hubungan selalu berlaku dua arah.

Apakah anda memikirkan masa depan? Apakah anda mengatur sesuatunya untuk mendapatkan goal untuk diri sendiri? Apakah anda rela mengenyampinkan kepuasan secondary anda untuk mencapai goal anda?

Kalau anda tidak pernah memikirkan tentang masa depan, dan anda tidak pernah melihat “the big picture”, percaya dech, anda jangan memulai menjalani hubungan yang serius dulu. Because you're simply not ready!

Yang sederhana adalah seperti ini, anda dan pasangan harus benar benar siap untuk menjalani hubungan yang benar benar serius dan akan berlangsung selamanya sebelum memutuskan untuk menikah.

Don't plan to just "wing it" as you go along. It doesn't work. (And even if it does, you'll still be pretty miserable, thinking how great your life would have been if you waited for someone who was better and more ready.)

Want to know what I believe? If either of you isn't ready to handle a relationship, you have no business getting into one in the first place. You have no business breaking anyone's heart. It's that simple!

Rahasia 7 – Jangan berfikir bahwa Pernikahan akan menyelesaikan masalah anda.

Ini adalah hal yang menyebabkan banyak perceraian terjadi di seluruh belahan dunia bahwa MENIKAH akan otomatis menyelesaikan konflik diantara para pasangan selama berpacaran. Sangat banyak dari kita berfikir bahwa tidak ada yang sempurna di antara pasangan dan memilih untuk menikah dan "sealing the deal" akan menyelesaikan semuanya. Well.. for me is Big mistake!

Marriage does not, and NEVER WILL, solve your problems. Here's how it works --marriage doesn't fix a relationship. It only MAGNIFIES what's already there.

Jadi, jika hubungan anda terkendala oleh masalah, maka pernikahan otomatis akan menjadi kendala yang lebih besar lagi. If your relationship is on-and-off, then your marriage will be EVEN MORE on-and-off.

Tetapi jika hubungan anda harmonis, coba tebak bagaimana harmonisnya pernikahan anda nantinya…  Jika hubungan anda sekarang menurut anda dan pasangan sangat menyenangkan, coba bayangkan pastinya pernikahan anda akan lebih menyenangkan. You get the idea!

Itulah sebabnya sangat penting sekali untuk membuat suatu commitment pada diri sendiri sebelum bercomitment pada hubungan yang serius. Anda harus menghabiskan cukup waktu untuk membentuk pondasi dari sebuah hubungan itu sendiri. Yaitu CINTA dan pondasi itu akan cukup kuat dalam menopang suatu hubungan selamanya.

Dan itulah pesan yang mau saya sampaikan kepada seluruh wanita di dunia. Semoga tulisan saya ini dapat diterima secara positif dan memberikan effect yang positif pula bagi anda dalam memandang suatu cinta dan suatu hubungan…

Salam :)

Women are hot for chocolate

All of us love chocolate, when we are stressed or tired our mind goes to this incredible food.
Now, chocolate is very good for a spicy relation.
A  dinner chocolate may have a very big impact on the women sexual behavior.

According to Italian researchers, women who eat chocolate regularly have a better sex life than those who deny themselves the treat. Those consuming the sugary snack had the highest levels of desire, arousal and satisfaction from sex. 


Women who have a daily intake of chocolate showed higher levels of desire than women who did not have this habit. Women who have a low libido could even become more amorous after eating chocolate. 
The research looked at the lifestyle habits that affect women’s sex lives. It also looked at smoking and coffee consumption but found no links with sexual enjoyment. Some might argue, however, that women who like chocolate are simply more sensually attuned. 

You could start with a sweet tooth to dribble some chocolate sauce on your woman breast, then slowly lick it of.
There's also the hot-cold combo: Take a sip of hot water or tea and go down on her for a little while. Stop, take a bite of chocolate ice cream or suck on an ice cube, then continue to give her oral pleasure. The difference in temperature will send her through the roof. C.P.


 

 

Natural Herbs for the Female Sex Drive

A woman's libido may ebb and flow throughout her life depending on a number of factors. Fluctuations in sexual desire may occur when a relationship begins or ends or due to hormonal changes such as those that occur during pregnancy and menopause. While there doesn't appear to be one magic pill guaranteed to spice up a wavering sex drive, a number of herbs may enhance the female libido.
 

Naturopathic medicine promotes a holistic approach to health with minimal use of drugs. Please consult your physician before attempting naturopathic remedies at home.

Black Cohosh

Black cohosh, also known as squawroot, may imitate the effects of the female hormone estrogen and help to balance hormone levels, according Herbal Supplement Guide.com. Black cohosh is purported to treat some of the most common symptoms of menopause including low libido, vaginal dryness, hot flashes and mood swings.

Damiana Leaf

Damiana leaf, also called turneria aphrodisiaca, is a shrub native to North and Central America. It may enhance a woman's arousal at least in part because of its purported ability to increase circulation and sensitivity in the clitoris. Herbal Supplement Guide.com says the therapeutic compounds of the damiana leaf may also spur interest in sex.

Licorice

Licorice, or glycyrrhiza glabra, is a flavorful herb that grows wild in parts of Asia and Europe, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. Licorice may help balance hormone and improve female libido, says Breast Feeding.com. Licorice may decrease fluid retention, breast tenderness and boost energy levels.

Maca Root

Maca root may help to balance and encourage the production of the hormones estrogen and progesterone, says Epigee.com. These effects may improve vaginal dryness in women and help restore sexual desire. Maca root contains a number of vitamins along with calcium, zinc and iron.

Panax Ginseng

Panax or Asian ginseng is purported to have estrogen-like effects on the female reproductive tissues and may prevent vaginal atrophy, says Breastfeeding.com. Traditional Chinese medicine suggests ginseng can improve strength and promote longevity. Asian ginseng contains compounds known as ginsenosides that are thought to give ginseng its medicinal properties.

Translate Her Sex Sounds

Deciphering what she wants in bed is like uncovering the mystery of the Sphinx—only more difficult. Especially considering a recent Johns Hopkins University study, reporting that women often struggle to express what they want in the bedroom—and many even have trouble recognizing their own sexual feelings.
Great. If even she doesn’t know her sexual feelings, is there any hope for you? Actually, yes. Use this guide to read her cues in bed.

She says: “Don’t stop.”
You think: “She’s having a good time; I should go harder and faster.”
She means: Don’t change anything—at all.

“When a woman says, ‘Don’t stop,’ she actually means, ‘Don’t vary what you’re doing,’ ” says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., professor at University of Washington, and sex and relationship expert for perfectmatch.com. Female pleasure points are very specific. Changing your position—even slightly—can make or break her orgasm, she says.

She says: Nothing.
You think: She’s not enjoying herself.
She means: I’m about to orgasm.

Sure, some women scream like a porn star on Ecstasy—but others will hold their breath and become quiet right before an orgasm. “Many men can think she’s not having fun,” says Schwartz. “But if you change what you’re doing, she could lose her orgasm.” Keep in mind this might not apply to everyone. So if you’re not sure, just ask.

She says: I’ve been masturbating more recently.
You think: Sex with me isn’t enough.
She means: You make me want even more sex.

A study from the Kinsey Institute found the more sex women have, the more they seem to want. See, the more intimate she is with you, the more sexual she feels in general, making her more likely to masturbate. “Masturbation makes both men and women more in-tune with their sexual wants and needs,” says Schwartz. “The more she pleasures herself, the more assertive and confident she’ll be with you.”

Remember: Communication is the key to a good relationship, says Schwartz. So if you’re having consistent trouble figuring her out, talk about it.

5 Health benefits of Masturbation

A new survey from adult product peddler AdamandEve.com reveals that 27 percent of Americans admit to masturbating once or twice a week.

That number seems suspiciously low to us, especially since science has shown that being master of your domain can provide additional feel-great benefits. (Also because the people surveyed were browsing an adult toy website.) “Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life,” says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist. “It’s totally safe and harmless. It’s healthier than brushing your teeth every day.”

And just as brushing your teeth should be a regular occurrence, so too should be cleaning your pipes. Here are 5 reasons to take matters into your own hands right now. (You’re welcome.)

It prevents cancer. A 2003 Australian study found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer. Disease-causing toxins build up in your urogenital tract and when you rub one out, you flush the bad guys out of your system, says Brame.

It makes you harder. As you age, you naturally lose muscle tone … even down there. Regular sex or masturbation works out your pelvic floor muscles to prevent erectile dysfunction and incontinence. “It keeps the angle of your dangle perky,” says Brame. Aim to (ahem) arrive 3 to 5 times a week for rock-solid results.


It helps you last longer. Taking yourself to palm prom may help you stretch your sack sessions. “[Masturbating] an hour before a date will give you more control,” says Brame. Train yourself by timing how long it takes you to orgasm, suggests Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of loveologyuniversity.com. If it usually takes two minutes solo, try for three next time. Or count how many strokes you need to get to your happy place. If you’re spurting after 50, shoot for 60. “Most men can double the number of strokes and the time within one month,” Cadell says. Practice makes perfect, right?

It ups your immunity. Ejaculation increases levels of the hormone cortisol, says Jennifer Landa, M.D., a specialist in hormone therapy. Cortisol, which usually gets a bad rap as a havoc-wrecking stress hormone, actually helps regulate and maintain your immunity in the small doses. “Masturbation can product the right environment for a strengthened immune system,” she says.

It boosts your mood. Masturbating releases a slew of feel-good neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin that lift your spirits, boost your satisfaction, and activate the reward circuits in your brain. “An orgasm is the biggest non-drug blast of dopamine available,” says Brame. “A brain scan of someone having an orgasm looks like a heroin addict’s.”

Share your comment :)

Religion and sex

Since I was a kid I have always heard that sex was a sin, that God does not want you have sex before married.
Now at the begin I did not understood well, I was to young. I remember while we where eating all together my father comment on the priest that was found having sex with a lady in the church and I was not understanding while the same person was telling me that was a sin.
Having a passion for history since I was very young I read all the books I found and since the begin of the world sex was consider more then normal on every society and in some multiple relation was consider normal.
Why religion have create a so big deal around sex, well I do believe is just a way to control people making them feel responsible for some things that is so natural that our body and mind need.
Every day I see on news priest Catholic, Muslim and other have been discover having sex with young people, with kids boy or girl, these person that have to give example can not resist, the body and the mind is to weak and some time they do very bad things. Women have been consider the house of sin, the responsible for all of this since the beginning but is just a way to keep them on lower lever.

Last year I visited a tribe in Indonesia, they live free in the jungle eating what they produce, no study of any type. They merry as many time they want and exchange partners with no problem living all together in peace like a big family.
Now, are these sinner that will not go to haven after death? I do not think so, for the people like me that believe in God I am sure that he love every one regardless what they are or what they do.
Some people can say but they are savages, well are they so different from us, what make as better then them, the fact that we can see porn on Internet? Is the biggest problem in the world today the gays (like the Vatican say), I do not think so, religion should first think about the soul of the person not at the wallet, then I think we have far more bigger problem in this world than people same sex getting married. War is a bigger problem, people that have no food is bigger problem, bank that  destroy the life of million of people is bigger problem.
Reading the history of Italy (the one based on document not on school books) since the begin I saw that all the pope had family, lovers, kids. take for example  Borgia, he had 2 kids il Valentino and Lucrezia Borgia. Bonifacio the 8th after finish the money on party and women decide to send his knight all around Europe with a message for all people "if you come to Rome and pay all your sin will be forgiven'', it was the year 1300 and that was the first ''Giubileo" that also today every 4 years happen.


Sex is an important and natural part of our life, I remember my gran ma say (referring to a relative couple with some problem) if they do not go along on the bed is very difficult they have a good life together (and my gran ma was deeply believing in God).C.P.

What Your Hand Says About Your Penis?

We dare you to not look at your hand after reading this: Guys with shorter index fingers than ring fingers tend to have bigger penises than guys with the opposite digit scenario, finds a new study in the Asian Journal of Andrology.

How did researchers get this information? Very carefully. While men who came in to a Korean hospital for urological surgery were anesthetized, scientists measured consenting patients’ penises. (“Thanks for coming in for penis surgery! Mind if we measure it while you’re knocked out?”) Fun fact: Since shorter members stretch more than longer ones, the stretched measurement—used by the researchers—is more telling about the size of an erect penis. Other researchers measured the patients’ index and ring fingers.

The connection: The testosterone men get exposed to while they’re still fetuses controls both penis and finger length, the researchers explain.

The early testosterone exposure reflected in your fingers (and elsewhere) affects you in many other ways, explains Denise Brooks McQuade, a scientist at Skidmore College not affiliated with the study. Guys with shorter index finger than ring fingers—known as a low digit ratio—tend to have a higher risk of prostate cancer, be better at sports and financial trading, and have higher sperm counts.

We know by now you’ve 1) Looked at your hand and 2) Adjusted your hand’s position so that your index finger looks shorter. Want to figure out your digit ratio for real? Watch this video from Men’s Health to learn how to accurately measure it. (You can quit feeling self-conscious now: The average size of an erect penis is a not-at-all-intimidating-to-think-about 5.5 inches.) Then take our Prostate Cancer to get a better idea of your risk.

What Your Fantasies Mean...

“She undressed me, blindfolded me, and tied me with ropes to the bed, leaving me completely helpless. She was totally in charge and made me a slave of her desires . . .”
“I’m sitting at the library across from a beautiful woman. Next thing I know, she’s taking off my pants. I’m enjoying myself until the librarian suddenly shows up . . . and, without saying a word, joins the party. After a while, they both freeze. We realize my girlfriend is watching us . . .”

 What reads like forum entries on a porn website are actual sex fantasies described by two different subjects in a scientific study. The fantasies are very different. Were they generated by random sexual urges or do they hold deeper significance?

Researchers at the Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya, School of Psychology in Israel explored those questions in a recent study and suggested that daily sexual fantasies may offer a voyeuristic view in to the quality of the daydreamer’s real life relationship.
 
The research involved both members of 48 couples who independently reported their daily sex fantasies and relationship interactions with their partners for 21 days. The researchers determined if each partner seemed to desire more closeness (attachment anxiety) or distance (avoidant attachment) in their relationship. At the conclusion of the study, patterns emerged that suggest that the content of each sexual fantasy was directly influenced by the partner’s personality, the quality of the relationship, and whether the couples’ interaction for that day was positive or negative.

On days when couples argued, both partners were more likely to have sexual fantasies about people other than their partner, said psychologist and lead researcher Gurit E. Birnbaum.

The study also found that avoidant men tended to fantasize about being sexually satisfied and irresistibly desired by unknown women, as in the library fantasy above. This kind of fantasy, the researchers write, may be a distancing strategy that minimizes intimacy and reflects a desire to escape.

On the other hand, people who wanted more intimacy in their relationship tended to report more fantasies involving their current partner. On days of negative couple interaction, these people reported more fantasies in which they portrayed themselves helpless and being controlled, as in the blindfold fantasy above.
The sexy scenarios you conjure up in the privacy of your mind may reflect deep unmet desires, says Birnbaum. “Tell me your fantasies and I will tell you what you want out of relationships and how to get your needs met.”

Share your Fantasies :)
Ciao..

8 Food That Get Your Sex Drive Going Naturally

 Can eating specific foods get that mojo going? I'm a skeptic about this theory, but curiosity got the best of me so I decided to investigate. Because hey, I'll admit, there are times we could all use some inspiration to get in the mood and get it on. And yes sometimes eating specific foods do stimulate bodily desires, so bring it on baby!

As one of my favorite Doctors states, Dr. Nalini Chikov L.Ac., O.M.D., “Love foods that stimulate desire are prized in cultures worldwide. These foods have circulatory, relaxant and muscle strengthening effects, or visual, tactile or sensory impact that stimulates the psyche. The brain, after all is the largest sexual organ in the body." So to get you in the mood and get the mojo going, here is a list of top foods that can boost your sex drive naturally. Move over Viagra, we've got some delicious power foods.

1. Oysters

 Oysters have long been suspected as a love drug. Cleopatra and Casanova had one thing in common, they  loved oysters. Legend has it that Casanova ate dozens of oysters per day. The Venetian romancer once seduced a vestal virgin by seductively sliding an oyster from his mouth to hers. If that doesn't get you in the mood, I don't know what will! In fact, current research proves our suspicion. Oysters improves dopamine levels which boosts libido in men and women. Oysters are also high in zinc which is vital for testosterone production and healthy sperm.

2. Watermelon

 Some experts have called watermelon the new Viagra. Bhimu Patil, researcher and director of the Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center at Texas A&M University, stated eating watermelon delivers Viagra-like effects on blood vessels throughout the body and may increase libido!  This cool refreshing fruit contains citrulline amino acid. Citruline is good for the cardiovascular system and helps relax the blood vessels that increase sex drive. If you want to get in the mood, make this Watermelon Sorbet and share it with your partner. I'm all about the easy delicious recipes!

3. Cocoa or Chocolate

 All chocolate comes from cacao bean. In its processed form it is known as cocoa. The Aztecs referred to cacao as nourishment of the Gods. Modern day foodies know raw cacao in its pure unadulteratedform is a superfood. It has more antioxidants than green tea or red wine. It also contains a stimulating chemical known as phenylethlamine, that  stimulates the sense of excitement and well being. The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a study that found, women who enjoyed a piece of chocolate every day had a more active sex life than those who didn't. I get my daily dose of raw cocoa with my Raw Cocoa Coconut Fudge Recipe. I eat it every day, and it's literally a five minute recipe.

4. Asparagus

Known for its suggestive shape, asparagus is high in a B vitamin known as folate that aids in increasing the production of histamine. Histamine is important for a healthy sex drive in men and women. The most delicious asparagus is just picked, it is so sweet! Grow your own or buy it fresh and organic at your local farmers market.

5. Avocado

A recent report stated organic Sicilian avocados are taking Europe by storm. Apparently the Europeans can't get enough of them. The ancient Aztec's nickname for avocado was "ahuacatl," or testicle because of the fruit's shapely form. The Catholic Spanish priests found avocados so sexy, the forbade them to their parishioners.

6. Pumkin seed

Like oysters, pumpkin seed are high in zinc which is essential for healthy sperm production and preventing testosterone deficiency in men. They are also loaded with libido vitamins and minerals like vitamin B, E, C, D, K and minerals including calcium, potassium, niacin and phosphorous. Next time Halloween comes around, now you know what to do with those left over pumpkin seeds, roast those babies.

7. Celeri

You wouldn't normally think of celery as a libido inducing food, but according to Judy Gaman, Dr. Walter Gaman and Dr. Mark Anderson, authors of the book "Stay Young Ten Proven Steps to Ultimate health" eating celery actually increases the pheromone levels in a man's sweat, making them more attractive to women. But make sure that celery is organic! Non - Organic Celery is Packed with 67 Pesticides. You don't want those toxic chemicals messing with your libido now do you?

8. Chili

The stuff that makes chilies hot, capsaicin, can actually rev up your libido. Have you ever noticed a natural high when eating chilies? Capsaicin promotes the release of chemicals that can raise your heart rate and trigger the release of endorphins that give you a natural high, which pumps that libido!


My conclusion, if you want to seriously boost your libido, stock your pantry with these items and eat them on a regular basis. Who knows you might even lose weight in the process by eating these healthy foods, and the extra exercise you're getting in the bedroom, couldn't be all bad.

If all else fails, think outside the box and consider getting a room! A change of scenery and environment can do wonders.  And remember, the brain is the most powerful sexual organ we have, so use your imagination wisely. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Ciao.

Thinking of love

Some time I stop a moment, I think what is really the meaning of this word,very important people have wrote books and books about it, politicians have talked and talk about it, our religions are full of this word too, the tv channel every day have program based on love so I could think we are living in a loved caring world; then while I am walking on the living room I see on tv a soldier that bring peace to a country killing people, in the name of love.

Then I see a spot with a mother and a kid sitting on a crass full of flower with lot of trees and birds flying and in my mind I see myself in the farm in Italy where I was born, I was happy running and free with all the love of my family always worries for me, unfortunately what I am looking now is only an advertising for a shampoo.

Some time we say the word love but we really do not know what does it mean, every day if we think we could have done some action that represent this word but we did not, our system today is base on a different love, you are loved if you have this type of tablet or if your skin is light or dark or if you are thin and not fat or if you have hair and so on. Today to be loved they teach us that we need to be different person then what we are.

I remember the first time I got in love, the world around me was flying, I was not able to eat and my mind was out of order, it was incredible.

Now I heard all the religion say you have to love God and I am agree but at the same time they ask you to hate in the name of God to kill in the name of god.

After so many years traveling around the world working and living with so many different people I do understand only one thing, feel with my heart and think with my mind.

Now deep inside my mind there is a child sit on the crass with flower and trees around, bird singing and a smooth wind on the hair while the sun is high on the sky and a voice from far away that say Claudio where are you be careful over there, is gran ma and her love for me that I will never forgot. C.P.

Anal sex

The Art of Anal Intercourse dates back to ancient times suggests that the practice of anal sex stimulation of the anorectal area, including penile penetration has been around for many centuries. In fact, some might find it surprising how common a practice it is among heterosexual couples today. In one survey of 100,000 female readers of Redbook magazine, 43 percent of the women said they'd tried it with their partners at least once. Of that number, 40 percent said they found it somewhat or very enjoyable. (That is, about a quarter of the total number of women surveyed said this.) Forty-nine percent said they didn't care for it, and 10 percent said they had no strong feelings one way or the other. While not a controlled scientific study, this survey roughly parallels the findings of many other sexual surveys. 

Something else that may come as a surprise to many: While a fair number of heterosexuals engage in the practice, not all homosexuals do. In a review of the existing data on the subject, the Kinsey Institute concluded that between 59 and 95 percent of male homosexuals had engaged in anal sex at least once.

In the age of AIDS, anal sex has received a lot of bad press and for good reason. Unprotected anal intercourse is the single most risky behavior interims of exposure to the dreaded disease. It bears mentioning, however, that if neither you nor your partner is already infected with HIV (human immunodeficiency virus), you cannot get AIDS from anal sex. This may seem self-evident, but in a nationwide sex survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute, half of the American adults questioned said they thought you could get AIDS through anal intercourse, whether or not one partner was infected. This is simply not true.

What is true is that having anal intercourse with an infected partner, without using a condom, is the kind of sex behavior most likely to transmit AIDS. That's probably because the sensitive lining of the rectum is likely to tear during intercourse, allowing AIDS-infected blood or semen to pass directly into a sex partner’s bloodstream. In fact, the evidence for this mode of AIDS transmission is so clear-and AIDS itself is so scary-that doctors now recommend against having anal sex with anybody, under any circumstances.

If you insist on trying it anyway, take two precautions: The vagina is naturally elastic and moistened by its own natural lubricants, but the rectum is not. Therefore, before attempting anal penetration, it's important to use a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly. Also, before entering the vagina after anal intercourse, be sure to thoroughly wash the penis. Otherwise, it's likely to transfer bacteria from the rectum, which may cause vaginal infections.

Masturbation

 

Masturbation is a natural and healthy method of sexual release engaged in by most people of both sexes. It is also a good way of learning one’s own sexual response. Women who can bring themselves to orgasm by masturbating are more likely to have orgasms with their partners, and men who can masturbate for 15-20 minutes without ejaculating are less likely to suffer from problems of premature ejaculation during intercourse. Stimulating your partner’s genitals is also called masturbation, and is an important part of lovemaking.

The external female genitals are called the vulva. Pubic hair grows on the labia major, and inside these outer vaginal lips are the labia minor, which are pinker and moister. If the sight of your own genitals is not familiar to you, examine them in a hand mirror while you relax after a bath or shower. The clitoris is situated where the labia minor join at the top. It is a pink knob about the size of a dried pea, and is highly sensitive. The clitoris is protected by a hood, which retracts during sexual arousal. Below the clitorises the tiny opening of the urethra, through which urine passes, and below that is the opening to the vagina.

When you start to masturbate, make sure you have plenty of time during which you won't be interrupted. Go somewhere where it is quiet, completely private, and warm. Some women like to lie on their back, some on their front; some like their legs pressed tightly together, others like them spread wide apart, or propped up above the body. Use a lubricant and stroke yourself gently, with your fingers or an object such as a vibrator, varying your movements from time to time to find out where and how you like to be stimulated.

Many women find the clitoris too sensitive for direct stimulation, so you could begin by rubbing the whole vulva, and then gradually move inside with delicate fingers. Allow yourself to fantasize to increase arousal. Be patient, but if the pleasure wears off without you having hadean orgasm then you should stop. Don't be disappointed with yourself, as it may take several sessions before you can relax enough to really let go.

When you feel a gathering tension in the vaginal area and a build-up of warmth, orgasm is on the way. Continue to stimulate yourself, as if you stop, these sensations will fade and it may be difficult to get them back again. The clitoris becomes increasingly sensitive as you proceed, whether you’re stimulating it directly or not, and then orgasm breaks out with waves of vaginal contractions. Most women like some form of genital contact during orgasm: either continued stimulation or pressing or holding the vaginal area. Some like to insert a finger into the vagina as they come.

Most men are expert at giving

themselves pleasure, but there’s no harm in extra practice. A good way of finding out exactly how your genitals respond to stimulation is by soaping and gentle massage in the bath, allowing yourself to fantasize as you do so. Some men enjoy fondling their testicles, and some enjoy penetrating the anus with a finger. There are many different strokes you can use on the penis. If you are uncircumcised, you can draw the foreskin over the head of the penis and then pull it back down the shaft to get an erection; if you are circumcised, repeated squeezing round the shaft and letting go is usually effective. Then you can let your hand glide up and down the shaft in long slow movements, gradually building up speed and pressure. You may enjoy rubbing or tickling the glans of the penis, though for some men this is too sensitive. You may like gentle or firm pulling, stroking, squeezing and stretching. Try holding off ejaculation by varying the stroke when you become too excited, before finally letting go in orgasm.

 

Masturbation need not be something that you do only when you are alone. Many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic. It can also be very instructive to discover how your partner reaches orgasm alone, as this will be the best method for you to adopt when you are masturbating him or her. Masturbating with your partner will break down inhibitions and allow you togged even closer.

Masturbating your partner in the way he or she enjoys is an important part of lovemaking, and many women like being masturbated to orgasm before penetration. Both men and women need to learn how to handle each other's genitals with tenderness and sensitivity.